


amathophobia

by rmaowl



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Ashes Scene in Avengers: Infinity War Part 1, Emotional Baggage, Gen, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt, Hurt Peter Parker, I'm Sorry, Infinity Gauntlet, Near Death Experiences, Not Really Character Death, Panic, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Physics, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Protective Tony Stark, Reality, Sandwiches, Senses, Some Humor, Temporary Character Death, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Trauma, Weird Plot Shit, have i mentioned that i love u all and also that im sorry, how was peter brought back? the world may never know, loss of reality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-07-01 01:00:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15763371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rmaowl/pseuds/rmaowl
Summary: Heavy feels like the wrong word to Peter when, really, he feels all too light.orTony Stark, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist (and yet nothing without the suit), lost for words when faced with a traumatized teenage boy struggling to retain his youthful innocence.





	amathophobia

Some casual team bonding after the end of the world, Tony figures. It's totally normal that he knows not only Peter's favorite deli-grocery but also the exact location, his specific order (#5, pickles, squished down _real flat_ ), and the fact that the owner of the place owns a cat named Murph, both of which Peter has saved previously. Totally. This is casual and normal and okay.

"So, how're you holding up, kid?" Tony asks, forcing himself not to fidget as they sit outside on the curb, their respective sandwiches in hand. He feels awkward and out of place, which is something that a Stark should never feel. Starks are always in control of situations; on the off chance that they are not, they forcibly take control.

That's what he's been taught, anyway. That still doesn't mean he can do that here, Tony reminds himself cautiously. He doesn't need to. What he's been taught isn't necessarily what's right.

Howard Stark was a strange, strange man with even stranger methods of parenting. Tony is determined to be better.

"Things get a little heavy, sometimes," Peter chirps brightly in belated response after swallowing his minuscule bite of sandwich, successfully mustering up an overly-cheerful façade (energy used to surge through Peter's veins; it has been sapped from him now), "but I'm okay, Mr. Stark. I mean it."

Heavy feels like the wrong word to Peter when, really, he feels all too light.

 _Detached, disoriented, dizzy, crumbling into dust and clinging onto his mentor as if physical contact will keep him from disappearing. He doesn't want to be ripped away. He wants to see Mr. Stark, Aunt May, Ned, and MJ again. He wants to live alongside them. If he dies, he'll have his parents and Uncle Ben, but it won't be the same. It'll always be two halves, never one whole. No matter what, no matter where, so maybe it doesn't_ matter _if he stays or goes, maybe he doesn't_ matter _—_

A scorching mix of ash and dust lingers in his throat, threatening to suffocate him. His edges feel loose and fuzzy and _badbadbad_ , as if his spidey senses should be going off in the back of his head. Is he being dusted again? That's what it feels like. He's losing his grip on reality. Actually, maybe he'd already lost it when he was dusted the first time. In one moment, he had been perfectly solid and lucid; in the next, his spidey senses were whirring utterly out of control and he was panicking. It was the stuttered wail of a broken siren, a jarring warning that did nobody any good. It was everything he'd ever known about the world and its physics breaking into wispy pieces. It was, put both simply and harshly, agonizing pain.

Even now, recalling the moment and its similarities to the present, he can feel his limbs trembling. He wonders when that happened and also when he started feeling his limbs again.

Didn't they defeat Thanos? Hadn't he been told that it was physically impossible for destruction on that scale to happen more than once? The golden Infinity Gauntlet had been crushed by the sheer force of the Infinity Stones' combined power, so maybe he's imagining things. Maybe he's okay.

Peter is fully jolted back into reality as Mr. Stark lays a hand on his shoulder, his tunnel vision dissipating rapidly. The smell of Mr. Delmar's sandwiches is familiar. So is Murph's steady purr from inside the shop, providing background noise. There's chatter all around him, and although he doesn't zero in on any conversations, he knows that he could if he wanted to.

Hesitantly, Peter meets Mr. Stark's gaze. 

"Kid," he begins, then goes deathly silent. Peter dazedly notes the abundant emotion in his pained expression, allowing for examination of the moment at a later date. " _Kid._ "

Tony Stark, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist (and yet nothing without the suit), lost for words when faced with a traumatized teenage boy struggling to retain his youthful innocence.

"It's okay," Peter mumbles, for Tony's sake more than his own, which aches in some odd way Tony can't place. "It's okay."

"This isn't anywhere near the definition of okay," he responds hoarsely, but he leaves it at that.

**Author's Note:**

> :)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjlo4evwjlE


End file.
